託福寫作連續3次滿分30分同學的課堂練習

很多同學糾結托福獨立寫作主體段究竟寫到何種程度才能拿到滿分，我給大家演示今天課堂上一位包玉剛國際學校高二同學的託福寫作練習。

她在連續三次托福考試中都獲得託福寫作滿分30分。

Firstly， on no account should we lose the sight of the fact that young people nowadays are more financially independent than in the past。 With more disposable income， individuals have more extra money to share with others。 Take my 22-year-old brother， Jack who graduated from Stanford University as a business major， as an example。 When he was 10 years old， no one would image a boy like him would help anyone。 However， after being recruited to the marketing department of Apple with a salary around 2000 dollars a month in 2016， he joined in a charity club in Silicon Valley called “Walk for Green” which is a program that encourages local citizens to donate money to walk around Silicon Valley and the money would be sent to kids in Africa。 According to my brother’s case， I found how financial independence can lead to young people nowadays more likely to help others than young people in the past。

本段值得獲得滿分有以下幾個原因：

字數達到159字，拓展到整篇文章可以達到600字，字數優勢非常明顯

寫作速度很快，159欄位落從構思到落筆只花了5分鐘時間，遠低於7分鐘的平均值

句型使用靈活且多樣，倒裝句，插入語，狀語從句，定語從句，長短句結合等手法使用相對成熟

例證細節到位，故事顯得非常真實，雖然她承認是編的，哈哈哈哈

主體段中非常自然地引入今昔對比論證，增加論證複雜性，同時提升字數

詞彙和短語使用並沒有刻意造作使用高階詞彙，但是基礎詞彙使用貼切，讀起來流暢自然

希望大家讀完之後能有所收穫！